Why Being Hot Does NOT Mean Getting What You Want All The Time

By Staci Traynor

"Look at her, she is so beautiful. I'll bet she gets everything she wants, being so hot." These words, or some semblance of them, are uttered day in and day out across the spectrum of the world’s people-watchers, the silent coffee-drinkers on park benches, musing at the seemingly flawless beauty possessed by a passing female who they either yearn to be, or, yearn to have.

And it is disgusting.

“I'll bet she gets everything she wants.” Really? Do you actually believe that? If that were the case I would not be $60,000 in debt due to a college loan that bought me a degree that I have yet to use. If us “hot girls” got everything we wanted, we wouldn’t be searching for jobs. We wouldn’t be searching for love. We wouldn’t be fighting anxiety, or depression, or social pressures of any kind.

And most importantly, we as activists would no longer be required to expend the effort that we currently do in bringing these issues to the public’s attention because they would simply be understood. That is what I want...

...And I have yet to get it.

"I'll bet she gets everything she wants." Is that so? Are you telling me that I want to be ogled by males as a walk down the sidewalk every day? Are you telling me that women want to be objectified on the regular by people who see them as nothing more than a pretty face with a nice body who they want to fuck? Does that sound like ANYTHING a sane, rational woman — or honestly anyone of any gender — would actually want? Because, my friends, as hot women, that is what we "always get."

“I'll bet she gets everything she wants.” Okay. Let me actually entertain this one for a minute. I will play devil’s advocate, just for a moment to illustrate how utterly ridiculous this notion is. “I'll bet she gets everything she wants.” Right. Let’s assume there is an instance in which this is true, where beauty is in fact the center of focus or the objective, like, let’s say, in a fucking beauty contest.

Now do you see how limiting beauty really is? If it meant "winning" to any degree, or success, or the satisfaction of our innate desires, it would need to be displayed within the confines of a situation where beauty were in fact the objective.

Here is a mind-blowing fact: there is actually more to life than being beautiful!

Wow, who knew!?!

Of course we encounter people who choose to make judgments all the time, and in many of those cases, looks do factor in. But what we need to ask ourselves is if the opinions of those types of people, those shallow-minded individuals who only observe at the most base level, really deserve your attention or deserve to be fretted over. Well do they? The answer is a big, fat, resounding "NO."

Life, as we are all well aware, is anything but a beauty contest. And life is not always easy. And life as a “hot girl” does not mean that you instantly get what you want all the time. Quite the contrary. You get a lot though, this much is definitely true (see: "objectification." I fucking love how wonderfully blatantly this shirt puts it: https://amzn.to/2qFbPQz). And most of these things we "get" — yes, most of it — is the kind of substanceless, soul-shearing, pathetic nonsense that a large portion of the uneducated and obliviously ignorant male populace subjects us to.

Being hot does NOT mean getting what you want all the time. There is no other way to say it. The feeling of being looked at as an animal, sized up like some horse at a 4-H fair, is a disgusting experience that one typically tends to feel the need to shake loose from by a sobering warm shower with our favorite song playing in the background to revive our sense of humanness.

I honestly hope that the stereotype of attractiveness being synonymous with one's instant gratification gets dropped from the stratum of the passing thoughts of idle people-watchers. The scary thing is that this type of superficial judgment is so ingrained in the minds of the uneducated that doing a complete 180 will be nothing short of a miracle.

Stereotypes are damaging — that is practically common knowledge. But what we need to realize is that it is actually a different, more subtle form of stereotype — that tricky, little-known kind that many people practice without being consciously aware of — that actually presents the greatest danger to a healthy society.


— S

Book Recommendation:  "This Is Me: Loving The Person You Are Today" by Chrissy Metz

Buy on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2IUFrjt